Hi everyone! Karlie back with her weekly update, where I post my vlog from the week before and hit on some thoughts I have been pondering this week. First off our girls turned two last week! WHAT!
I know to some people they are “just dogs” but to us they truly are family, and it’s hard to fathom that they have been in our lives for two years now. We did a mini celebration this year and ONLY got puppy treats. Last year Jacob and I baked a human cake for “their birthday”, sang them the celebration song, and then proceeded to sit on the kitchen counter top and eat the whole cake between the two of us, haha.
This past week my mind has been wrapped around the idea of kids & career. Jacob and I did a lot of driving this week so we had tons of time to talk about life & our future. For those who do not know us well, I will give you a quick “catch up”. Jacob and I met when we were 12 and in middle school, we started dating when we were 15, engaged at 18, and married the week of my 21st birthday. We are now 22, almost 2 years married, and KIDS, KIDS, KIDS, are the topic. Not really THAT much between us, but from everyone else. We always get asked when we are going to start having babies, which is totally fine and normal. The part that has been hard is the opinions. Some people say we need to start soon (while we are young) and others say wait as long as you can (lol). I love everyones advice and respect all view points, but then it has left me in this kind of blank space. I am floating here trying to make this very big decision whether we should try now incase it takes us awhile, or when we are 25 so we have a few more years alone together, or wait till I am 30 so I can conquer my dreams first, which then leads back to the start again…what if it takes us awhile. (ha ha, kinda)
So here is the real nitty gritty, the maybe too honest side that could get a few people looking at me weird.
What if I want to choose ME for awhile?
Don’t get me wrong, I want babies! I want lots of them, if The Lord blesses us with a basketball team, I wont be mad, haha. But is it common to not want them yet, and on top of that, not know when you want to start the mom journey too, Trust me, I get it, it sounds selfish. I want to “do me” for awhile. I want to build my career, travel the world, grow my marriage, and enjoy my 20’s for awhile. I have always been on this extreme fast track. I did a year of college in high school, and finished my bachelors in 2.5 years at the age of 20, obviously my husband and I got married young, I hustled hard to grow my business and went full time within a year of graduating, and then we worked our butts off and bought our first house by 22. I am not listing these accomplishments to sound braggy but to back up my statement of “a VERY extreme fast track”. I/we did this because we were/are determined to live our best lives together. And I honestly think we have hit a milestone. We have set ourselves up in a place where we can now slow down a little and enjoy the playing just as much as the working.
Why am I so nervous when I say “I want kids, but I want to build my career more first”. Like as if it’s wrong of me to want a successful career because I am a woman and it’s “my duty to have children”. I honestly think that I (and maybe we all) have these thoughts of guilt, and being torn between motherhood & careers, because THE WORLD has put us in this bubble. Women are judged if they don’t want kids, they are judged if they have kids later in life or early on, they are judged if they want to still work full-time while raising a family, and they are judged no matter what they do.
So here I am world, judge me. I am choosing me for awhile & that makes me no less of a woman of future mom. I want children someday, I have no idea what age I will be. But I can guarantee you that I am a girl boss before kids & I will continue to be even with a baby on my hip. And let me say this, who knows, maybe I will want to start having kids tomorrow, maybe I will in a year from now. I have no idea! But for now I am not going to put any pressure on myself to have this definite age set in stone.
Women let’s stop letting the world control our thoughts and feelings about motherhood. There is no right or wrong way to do it. If you don’t want kids, that’s fine! If you want to be a stay at home mom, that’s fine! If you want to work full-time and have your husband stay home, that’s fine! Like I said last week, as long as we are all happy and loving others that is all that matters!
I would love to hear from you! Are you a recent mom? Are you waiting awhile? Are you unsure, like I am? I would love to know where you are in this crazy life journey and if you have any thoughts on todays blog post.